I'm am having some concerns with the stepmother of my 3 year old girl..?

This is exactly why having a child in an unstable relationship is always a bad idea. Sounds like the step mom is venting and trying to come to terms with being a step mom. shes very bad at it but she is trying. I would print out all these blogs and posts and keep them if you need them for a court date sometime. Since your not allowed to talk to your ex any more why not try making just a few more excuses for there not to be visits. Simply killer with kindness. Call tell her your daughters been a bit ill and you don't want to get her kids sick and other such nonsense. I bet she will jump on less visits if her father really wants to see her he can step in but it sounds like he doesn't want to bother. Just try to broaden the gap between her and your daughter and maybe your ex will go away and live happily ever after with his wicked witch. Good luck.