Parents of grown children splitting up....not sure how to act?

Reddevil-When your stepdaughter comes to visit you to talk things over about the break up of her marriage be firm with her. Have questions you want to ask her start by saying to her . What is important to you in your life right now ? and say to her i want you to be very percific about them.Ask her if she thinks her life is pointless and then ask her to identify as to what priorities does she have within her life.How much time are you spending with your family.Then you tell her that when you offered to do the baby sitting for her she knocked it back, so now that you find yourself in a situation of having no job i am willing to look after my grand children while you go and try to find a job .Tell her that without a job she will be risking of becoming homless.Tell her also that it would mean creating meaning ,purpose, and value by activly changing how she and her family will be living their lives.Tell her by creating meaning she will have to change as to how she has been living her life. She needs to be told by you that she will have her children to care for and based on what she has told you the results are not doing nothing for her or her children.So as you can see Reddevil you are going to have to say that at this point in time your step daughter is going to have to down grade her material life. I do hope that your meeting will at least bring something good out about her problem . If she takes no notice of what you have said to her then she is going to have to slove this problem out herself, and that is not going to be easy at all.