I have no life left in me!!!?

In my opinion my life is over and I do not know where to turn anymore. I want to die so badly but do not have the courage to do it. I am literally wishing for my heart to just stop. My wife of 9 years is asking for a separation. My oldest daughter hates her step mom with a passion and she is also the vistim of abuse from her bio mom. My daughter has been molested, raped, abandoned, you name it and I and my wife have worked to the point of exhaustion to get her the proper treatment she has needed to no avail. My stepdaughter has been molested by her own dad and we fought to have him put in jail and end his visitation but we were laughed right out of court due to lack of evidence and the fact that CPS dropped the ball. My wifes ex-husband is extremely abusive (verbally) and has caused nothing but heart ache and misery in our house over the years. Of course I have fought to protect my wife but you can't prove someone has called you a name. My wife is also disabled and I have had to watch her over the years suffer in severe pain. I have had to be home most of the time to care for our 2 youngest kids while we fought with L&I and SSI. We have lost houses due to these circumstances and lost 2 cars to repo. Our whole world has come crashing around us. I had a nervous breakdown back in November and vansished for 3 days but did come back home. Now since that time my wife tells me that she has no trust in me, won't let me touch her at all but says she does not want to get a divorce. We have had our bills pile up to the ceiling because I was trying to take care of everything and not talk it over with my wife. Now, it feels like evil has won and now I am broken down. I just don't want to live anymore. I would not wish this on my worse enemy. I am almost 42 years old and feel like an 8 year old kid crying out for mama.